temporary childlessness

When we turned onto the country roads, gravelly with ice, sand, and snow, Reed woke and began to chat with me in his cheery, unintelligible voice.  It was dark, and I turned off the news on the radio because they were talking about oil prices and I did not want to hear about oil prices.  It had been two days since I saw my son; he had slept over at the loving home of my parents where his aunts and grandparents doted on him while I worked and Adam and I went on dates and pretty much reverted to our childless way of life: a way of life I had strangely forgotten about but fell into so easily for those two days.

Feeling childless for a little while cemented a few things in my mind.  Firstly, taking care of a child truly is a big job, (which I forget because I enjoy my days with him so much)- without our little man around, even with a full day of work I felt I had an opulent amount of time not having to think about and tend to another person’s needs constantly.  Secondly, I think Adam and I will totally love being “empty nesters” (I consider an extension of these years a big bonus of having children young).

Thirdly, I am so happy we have Reed in our life.  My wonderful little family is a delight.  And Adam and I may not be so young and devil-may-care as when we were childless, but I was ready for that time to end two years ago.  I was ready for more.  This is more and I like this (especially when we get a couple days every few months to sleep in and putz around and go out for spontaneous nighttime sweet potato fries).

I just feel really lucky, because it isn’t what I would have planned for myself, but it is…perfect.  It is so, so perfect.  I like driving and hearing Reed’s little unintelligible voice chirping behind me and coming home and getting us a snack and listening to him tell me about his days, though I cannot understand all of what he is saying.

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2 thoughts on “temporary childlessness

  1. i love your reflections on how Reed has changed your life and your family. especially as i’m looking motherhood in the face.. i’m being warmed by the stories of your journey ahead of me a little bit.

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