When we turned onto the country roads, gravelly with ice, sand, and snow, Reed woke and began to chat with me in his cheery, unintelligible voice. It was dark, and I turned off the news on the radio because they were talking about oil prices and I did not want to hear about oil prices. It had been two days since I saw my son; he had slept over at the loving home of my parents where his aunts and grandparents doted on him while I worked and Adam and I went on dates and pretty much reverted to our childless way of life: a way of life I had strangely forgotten about but fell into so easily for those two days.
Feeling childless for a little while cemented a few things in my mind. Firstly, taking care of a child truly is a big job, (which I forget because I enjoy my days with him so much)- without our little man around, even with a full day of work I felt I had an opulent amount of time not having to think about and tend to another person’s needs constantly. Secondly, I think Adam and I will totally love being “empty nesters” (I consider an extension of these years a big bonus of having children young).
Thirdly, I am so happy we have Reed in our life. My wonderful little family is a delight. And Adam and I may not be so young and devil-may-care as when we were childless, but I was ready for that time to end two years ago. I was ready for more. This is more and I like this (especially when we get a couple days every few months to sleep in and putz around and go out for spontaneous nighttime sweet potato fries).
I just feel really lucky, because it isn’t what I would have planned for myself, but it is…perfect. It is so, so perfect. I like driving and hearing Reed’s little unintelligible voice chirping behind me and coming home and getting us a snack and listening to him tell me about his days, though I cannot understand all of what he is saying.